When I first joined Twitter, I thought I was joining an open-minded and diverse community where a lot of different ideas, thoughts, and images were shared everyday, and that was the one thing that excited me. It was a strange and new thing for me, and I thought I would give it a shot. Before I knew it, I was with different people, from all walks of life, from different parts of the globe, exchanging their views on life in general. I was like a child with a new toy. The moment I started using Twitter, I began to follow people on here, as well as a number of celebrities. Since then, I made just a few friends on here - one of whom I am worried about at the moment because she hadn’t been on in a good while. Also since then, I’ve had to block a number of people for posting objectionable, or “extremely gross”, material on my timeline - I don’t want that mess. Basically, all I wanted to do was to just get along with people in the best way I knew how. But sometimes, I go about it the wrong way which has caused people to block me without giving me a reason why - in other words, I tend to trip over my own feet in here unintentionally, and I found out that it’s hard in here to apologize for my clumsiness.
Granted, I am not a well-known person, I’m not great, I’m not famous, I’m not rich, I’m not even sure if I’m inspirational. On the other hand, nor am I notorious, infamous, sinister, lecherous, or a psycho. It is easy - all too easy - to slap a negative label on someone or harshly prejudge someone because they make a mistake or a blunder that that person did not intend to do, for the all too simple reason that you don’t know them. I ought to know, because I’ve been a victim of what I would call “blind prejudice” myself from the time I was a child, because I ended-up in special education after kindergarten, and I was bullied for that for the longest time. But I am not saying that you people should open-up completely to everyone; I do understand that there are some real bad people out there, and that everyone has to be careful. I am one who knows a lot about being careful. I work for Lowe’s where I’m a loader and a lot attendant, and where I always have to be vigilant because what I do is potentially dangerous, especially when people are driving too fast in the parking lot.
What I’m trying to say is, I am not a perfect person and I’m certainly not a bad person; I am human, like all of you, who are, with all due respect, just as capable of mistakes and blunders as the next person - celeb and non-celeb, rich and poor alike - out of all fairness. And fairness, along with understanding and forgiveness, is what I am trying to earn for myself, which comes to the reason why I am writing this to all of you.
On the evening of Saturday, December 14, 2013, I did something that I now wish I have never done. I posted a tweet with a photo of actor Raymond Massey as John Brown from the movie “Santa Fe Trail”, which also starred Errol Flynn, and I posted this to everyone, including those that I was following who weren’t following me. I was bored and tired and so worried about Christmas that I thought I would post the tweet just to see how many people would imitate Raymond Massey’s trademark stare, what I thought was a fun thing to do at the time, just to try and cheer myself up. But I soon learned afterwards that I had unintentionally made a few people upset by doing that, and it cost me a couple of important people who I respected, and who I felt I hurt the most - Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Riley Stearns. Mr. Stearns was the first to block me, and when I tried to explain and to apologize to Miss Winstead, she blocked me as well. After that, I thought to myself, “What in God’s name did I do?!”. I realized then that I did something that I promised I would never do again in an apology letter to Miss Winstead and Co. about using the term “sensitive artist” to cartoonist and friend of Miss Winstead’s, Hope Larson, who also blocked me back in November - I pulled another boner. That apology letter, which I posted on Twitter, was apparently and sadly missed. If it is any consolation to Miss Winstead and Mr. Stearns, I did not sleep a wink at all, and I dragged my body and soul all the way through work the next day. I felt very sick inside, which should indicate to all that I do, indeed, have a conscience.
I take the fullest responsibility for my stupidity and my carelessness, and I never meant to cause anyone to be angry with me. Please believe me when I say that if I had known that this was going to be the result, I would never, ever had done it. I removed that “mistake” of a tweet completely out of Twitter afterwards.
TO MISS WINSTEAD AND MR. STEARNS: You two - especially you, Miss Winstead - are, I feel, are very talented and wonderful people that I’ve had the pleasure and the privilege to follow on Twitter over the past couple of years. The main reason why I followed you, Miss Winstead, was because I believe in you, and I do respect you, not only as an entertainer, but as a beautiful human being of which you are. And Mr. Stearns, she is very fortunate to have some like you as a main supporter in her life and career, and who is also very talented in what you do both as a photographer and a film maker. What I did to you two that night was purely horrible judgement on my part, and I take full responsibility for that. I felt like I betrayed the both of you, which you did not deserve at all, and I hurt the both of you and myself in the process. I’m not sure if you will ever forgive me, because I’m having a tough time forgiving myself, and I will not dare to insult you by begging you to unblock me. I feel that I can never apologize to you enough for what I did, but I am truly and sincerely sorry for what I did. Whether you believe me or no, I leave it up to you to decide. If anyone deserves to get kicked in the teeth, I’d rather it be me. But if by some rare chance that you two do decide to forgive me and unblock me, I will obey and comply with any law you lay-down for me, and you are more than welcome to hold me to that. But if you chose not to, I will understand. I’m the one that has to live with myself and what I did, and I need to continue to try and fix myself, because life is too short for me to keep messing-up. If you two can’t forgive me, please at least pray for me to be a better person in the future - and I will try, to the best of my ability, to be better. I have always supported you two, and I have wished nothing but the best for the both of you in your future endeavors, and I mean it from the bottom of my heart.
And to all of you, if you were at all offended by that tweet I sent the other night, I apologize to all of you, as well. I am seriously considering taking a hiatus from Twitter to take a break and do some soul searching, maybe do some art therapy, or something that will help condition my mind and spirit. When people, especially my co-workers, ask me how I’m doing, I say to them, “I’m just trying to keep Body, Soul, and Sanity together in the best way I know how with what I possess, even in situations where it’s not all that easy to do.” And I trust that’s what we all try to do everyday of our lives, no matter where we are in Life. I believe in giving someone a second chance IF I feel that they deserve it. If there is one gift that I want for Christmas, more than anything in this dreadful year, it’s Forgiveness, and I must not misuse it if I get it, ever. If I don’t get it, at least I can say that I tried, and move on. Again, I am sorry.
Thank you for reading,
Michael K. Fletcher